


Silence

by Love (crazylove)



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 11:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7506904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazylove/pseuds/Love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The pool party has Mark questioning all the things he hasn't said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence

They didn’t get any real alone time until the sun had gone down and the twinkle lights lit up near the pool. It had been a long party by this point. Half the guys had already gone back to the hotel, Yugyeom practically passed out by seven. Mark wasn’t sure how that happened. Mark would have been fine with him staying over but their manager insisted on hauling him out in the van, along with Jaebum and Jinyoung who were ready to go. BamBam was the only one who stayed behind. Mark could hear him over with a bunch of Mark’s friend at one of the picnic tables, playing a rowdy game of poker. Or maybe it was a drinking game by now. He wasn’t sure. Of course, they invited him but they were all at that state of drunkenness by now that it was only fun to be around them if you were equally as drunk. Mark’s mind was perfectly clear. And it was the perfect excuse to hang out in the pool, with Jackson perched on the edge. He watched Jackson look up at the lights after they just blinked on.

“It’s automatic,” Mark said.

Jackson was still looking around, like he’d never seen such a thing before. That’s one of the things Mark loved about him. He could find magic in anything.

“Wow,” Jackson said, in a hushed voice. Then he looked down, his large, warm brown eyes finding Mark’s immediately.

“Come here,” Jackson said.

Water dripped from Mark’s bangs, into his eyes. He lifted himself out of the pool and Jackson helped him the rest of the way. He fit easily, straddling Jackson’s lap, with Jackson’s fit arms around him. He was wet and Jackson was dry, but it didn’t matter. They kissed sweetly, lips sliding together like that last puzzle piece that made the beautiful scene complete. Mark sighed quietly, his breath fanning against Jackson’s face. He rubbed the nape of Jackson’s neck as they kissed again, finally having the chance to connect in the way that he’d been craving all day.

“I love you,” Jackson whispered against his lips.

Mark didn’t have to say anything. He just kissed Jackson again, under the twinkle lights, under the stars, the California sky. He wished they could be like this more often. Just home. Home together. The tour didn’t feel real. It felt like a dream, being able to sell out shows and perform night after night. Sometimes Mark didn’t even know if he was on stage or looking down on himself. The last ten days felt like a blur.

But now, in the times when Mark was able to return home to his parents, holding Jackson’s hand, that’s when it all felt real. The times they spent in his childhood bed, staying up talking, still riding that post-concert high and then making love… Mark couldn’t think of any better way to end his first US tour.

“I don’t want you to leave tomorrow…” Mark whispered, his forehead resting against Jackson’s.

“Yeah…” Jackson tightened his grip around Mark’s waist. “Me neither. But let’s make tonight count, huh?”

Mark nodded. That’s what Jackson always said when he got this way. He didn’t want Mark to dwell on all the times they were going to be apart. But sometimes Mark just couldn’t help it.

Mark pressed his hands against Jackson’s face. Their lips moved in sync. They had kissed so much over the past year but he would never get sick of it. He’d never get used to it. 

The kisses always felt like the first time. His fingertips gently rubbed against the back of Jackson’s neck. Their tongues massaged over each other’s and twisted together. Mark shifted his hips forward and he felt Jackson give a deep groan in the back of his throat.

Mark felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Hyungs,” BamBam said. He wasn’t trashed, he just liked being around Mark’s friends. Mark wasn’t sure how he felt like that but he also didn’t know what to do. They tolerated him and Bam seemed happy.

“I’m trending…” he said, in a shaky voice. His voice was strange and so what the fact that he was speaking Korean. They had barely spoken Korean between the three of them since they hit American soil.

“What are you talking about?” Jackson asked. His weight shifted underneath Mark as he leaned over to take BamBam’s outstretched phone.

“Oh shit…” Jackson mumbled. Mark leaned back so he could see when Jackson held up the glowing display to him. He only read a couple of the comments. That was enough.

“I’m sorry,” Bam said.

“Mark,” Jackson said, shaking his head. Mark’s heart was racing. He knew about the snaps. His friends were having them all pose for selfies and stuff at the beginning of the party. Then they seemed to get annoyed and it tapered off naturally on its own. But he had no idea how much they had posted.

He didn’t know they posted this.

“Why are you saying this stuff? I told you not to say it,” Jackson said, looking at BamBam now.

Bam looked close to tears. “I know but… it just came out. Everyone says it. Right, Mark?”

Mark felt BamBam’s eyes on him but he couldn’t move. He wasn’t looking anywhere, just staring into space. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

It was all his fault.

“Not everyone says it,” Jackson said. “Mark doesn’t say it. And you know better not to say it. So that’s not an excuse.”

“I know, I know,” Bam said, miserably. Mark was grateful Jackson saved him once again. He knew he should say something but he just couldn’t.

His friends' laughter rung out through the air. He could hear one of them screaming it right now and then more laughter. They really had no idea what was going on.

Mark realized it had been like that for a long time.

“I’m going to get your dad,” Jackson said. He gently slid Mark off his lap and Mark felt the hard ground underneath his damp ass. “Come here.” Jackson grabbed BamBam’s arm and yanked him away, both of them making a determined path towards Mark’s house.

Mark slipped back into the water.

Swimming was so calm. Underneath the surface, he couldn’t hear anything but the still water and his own racing thought. They were pounding against the inside of his skull like waves, but just like putting his ear to the inside of a shell, all he could hear was a dull roar. He couldn’t make out what those thoughts actually said. He stayed under until his lungs burned and his chest wanted to involuntarily spasm. He stayed under until he heard Jackson shout sharply from above, “Mark!”

Then he breached the surface.

“Don’t scare me,” Jackson said, worry etched all over his face. Mark took his outstretched hands and let Jackson haul him out of the pool. The twinkle lights were off and the DJ was quiet. His friends were gone. Mark had no idea when they left.

He didn’t even say goodbye.

Jackson grabbed a towel and rubbed Mark down briskly. Mark didn’t even realize that his body was shaking until Jackson pulled him against his chest and gave him a squeeze.

“Hyung wants us all back in the hotel,” Jackson said, whispering in Mark’s ear. “He called your dad.”

Mark knew there was only one hyung he was talking about.

They rode in silence, Mark’s dad behind the wheel. Of course, Bam was scrolling. No one could make him stop. He was deep into it and made some choking gasps sounds from time to time. Whenever he did that, Jackson swiped at the phone and said, “Stop it.” Bam only scooted away and sunk further down in his seat, obviously trapped in his own personal hell.

The hotel was about 40 minutes away in late-night traffic. Mark’s dad said that he would drop them off and stick around so he could give Mark and Jackson a ride back to the house. Jackson said it would probably be best for him to stay at the hotel for the night. Mark nodded tersely when his dad looked in his direction. So he would be coming back in the morning.

They went directly to the room Jaebum was sharing with Jinyoung. Jaebum let them in without a word. Yugyeom was passed out on the bed. Youngjae was still in his own room at the hotel. He probably hadn’t left his bed all day, his summer flu hitting him again. Mark’s heart caught in his throat when he caught the glare Jinyoung gave him. Jaebum wouldn’t even look in his direction. Mark was wearing a hoodie and jeans and he was completely dry now but all of a sudden he felt so cold.

“I just wanted to have fun,” BamBam said, breaking the silence in the room. “That’s all I was trying to do. I didn’t mean it like that. You know I didn’t.”

“Shut up,” Jaebum said, sternly, in Korean.

They piled onto the two beds. Mark felt Jackson’s weight beside him and ten the warmth of Jackson’s hand on his leg. He rubbed his thigh back and forth, slowly. Mark took deep breaths. But he could still feel Jinyoung’s eyes on him and he tasted something bitter in the back of his throat, like bile. Maybe he was going to throw up. He finally lifted his eyes to meet Jinyoung’s, sitting across from him on the other bed.

“Are you going to say anything?” Jinyoung asked.

The room was hushed again. All eyes were on him. Mark bit his lip and swallowed.

“Oh, that’s the problem,” Jinyoung continued. “You never say anything, do you?”

“Lay off, Jinyoung,” Jackson said. “How was he supposed to know?”

“Let him speak for himself, Jackson,” Jinyoung said. 

“Just talk to him, don’t attack him. Not everyone’s always up for a fight,” Jackson said.

“I’m not attacking him, I’m just asking him what he’s thinking. Because I don’t know. Every time we’re here, it’s the same story. Your friends are assholes, Mark. Now, look what they did.”

“Enough!” Jaebum shouted, just as Mark felt tears prick his eyes. He swallowed hard and felt Jackson squeeze his knee.

Everyone jumped when there was a knock at the door. Jaebum answered it. One of their managers had the MacBook already prepared. Jinyoung hyung stared at them from the other side of the screen. Mark’s heart leapt into his throat. Jackson wrapped his arms around him, protectively. He didn’t know what he’d do if Jackson wasn’t there.

“I heard you boys had a lot of fun tonight,” Hyung said from the screen. From the other side of the world. From Korea, where it was the next day, morning. Where it should have been a normal day where he didn’t have to worry about them. Mark knew they were in so much trouble.

“A lot of mistakes were made on this trip,” Hyung said, looking at them intensely. “A lot of poor decisions. I won’t get into them now. We will talk when you return. There is only one thing I will say now and I hope you listen. No one is to use social media. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever. Not until I say so. Is that clear?”

“Yes, hyung,” they all echoed together, Mark mouthing the words. Then he knew Jinyoung hyung was staring directly as him.

“And Mark,” Hyung said “You should tell your friends to do the same. This story will be printed in the media soon. It could really hurt the future of your group. I am disappointed, boys. That is what I want you to know. I will see you soon.”

Then the screen went black.

The room was silent again, tension so thick that Mark felt like he couldn’t breathe. Jackson’s grip on his knee was so tight, like he was trying to prevent Mark from falling off a cliff. Yugyeom was the only one who was relaxed, snoozing through the whole thing.

They sat there, not moving, for several minutes. Then Jaebum broke the silence.

“Apologize,” he said.

BamBam slipped off the bed and dropped to the ground. He bowed on his knees. “I’m sorry!” he cried out and then burst into tears.

Jaebum looked unmoved. Jinyoung laid on his bed, facing away from them. Mark knew it was his turn. He sniffed, taking a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry, too,” he said. “I—“

“—Can’t control your friends,” Jackson said, interrupting. “Mark was just trying to be a good friend. They used him.”

Jaebum shook his head, obviously unsatisfied with all of it. “You should go to bed,” he said. “BamBam, get off the floor.”

They left together, heading to the hotel room Jackson shared with BamBam but he hadn’t used the past two nights. BamBam was still crying. Jackson slung an arm over his shoulders while still holding onto Mark’s hand.

“You’re not a bad person,” Jackson said. “You just made a mistake. They won’t be mad at you forever.”

“Easy for you to say!” BamBam said, stomping into the room. He went to the bathroom and slammed the door. Mark flinched as Jackson sighed beside him.

“It’ll be okay,” Jackson said, his voice a promise. Mark wasn’t so sure. Jackson sat down on his bed and pulled Mark onto his lap. Mark leaned against him and shook his head slightly. He felt the tears coming against and closed his eyes.

“Don’t leave tomorrow,” Mark whispered.

“I have to…” Jackson whispered back. He laid on his back, bringing Mark with him. Mark rolled over so he could kiss Jackson’s lips and curl up against his chest. Jackson rubbed over Mark’s side, comfortingly.

“It is my fault,” Mark said, in a quiet voice. 

Truthfully, he had been growing increasingly uncomfortable with his friends. They were obviously out of control at the concert and he made his bandmates suffer through the pictures. He tried to play it off, but it really bothered him. At the party, they brought the hard liquor and he saw the phones out the entire time. He could have said something then. Or the day before that, at the first concert. Or before that, last year. Or even now because his phone was in his pocket and it hadn’t buzzed this entire time. Not once.

No one had called him.

“Baby…” Jackson said, still holding him tight. “This is all going to blow over, okay? I promise. But… I mean, it’s not your fault. It’s not, Mark. But you definitely have to think about the way you want people to look at you. I know you’re better than that. I know you. And I love you… more than anything. I don’t want anyone or anything to bring you down. I don’t want you to waste your time with people who are beneath you.”

Mark listened to his boyfriend with tears rolling down his cheeks. He knew Jackson was right. The truth had been staring him in the face for so long and he just didn’t know how to deal with it. But with Jackson by his side, he was finally going to find his voice. His heart was pounding but he took a deep breath. He moved off of Jackson and sat up.  


Jackson sat beside him.

Mark pulled out his phone and took a deep breath. Jackson took his other hand and gave it a squeeze. Mark looked at him and Jackson smiled warmly, encouragingly.

“You’re my best friend,” Mark said, eyes still on him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jackson said. “And I always will be.”

Mark nodded. Then he turned his attention to his phone. It didn’t take him long to scroll through the contacts. When he clicked on the right name, he opened the box to type a new message.

And the last.


End file.
